Channing Crowder thinks he’s underpaid?

I about choked up the mini brownie bite I shouldn’t have been eating this morning when I came across a headline saying Channing Crowder and his advisers think he’s underpaid.

At a million bucks a year, Crowder is tied for being the fourth-highest paid linebacker on the Miami Dolphins roster, prompting his agent to ask the team for a new contract, according to the Miami Herald.

Okay, I grant you, these guys have a limited lifespan and have to maximize their earnings while they can. And it’s not like Crowder’s numbers are bad. He’s played 43 games, starting 37 since joining the team three seasons ago and he’s amassed 78, 103 and 84 tackles during that timespan, according to NFL.com.

That said, he was a member of last year’s Miami Dolphins. You remember the team – the one that up until week 15 when they stunned Baltimore in overtime people were saying had the best chance since the expansion Bucs to go winless through an entire non-strike NFL season.

Nobody on that Dolphins team has the right to claim being underpaid because that team could have lined my brother and I up at linebacker and won just as many games. Well, almost as many, anyway.

Furthermore, Crowder missed the last four games of the season, including the win. So the team was 0-11 in the games he played in (he missed another contest earlier) and an impressive 0-10 in the games he started.

He forced zero fumbles. He intercepted zero passes. He did manage a half-sack, which is exactly 0.5 less sacks than he’s had car accidents in 2008. Sure, he might be able to make more than a million buck base salary. But nobody – NOBODY – on that sad sack roster from last year should be going around publicly claiming to be underpaid.