So, Pacman Jones wants to cut ties with his troubled past. How’s he going to do it? Anger management counseling? Distancing himself from some of his posse? Taking the stripper pole out of his living room (Actually, I suppose if I were him I’d leave that there, since he’s less likely to be arrested cavorting around with strippers in his own house)?

No. But Adam Shefter of the NFL Network is reporting that he’s planning to publicly ask media members not to refer to him as Pacman anymore.

Well, problem solved. What a fantastic solution to his legal problems of the past. There’s no way he’ll be getting arrested anymore now that he wants to be known simply as “Adam”.

My favorite part of this AOL posting on the subject is where the commenters say they quit calling him Pacman in favor of Douchecanoe and/or Inmate 6841324 long ago. They beat me to the punch in better fashion than I could have written it myself.

Dude. Do yourself a favor and stay as far away from the media as you can. Stay out of the spotlight. Stay away from the cameras. You’ve gotten enough chances now where people are going to bait you and they aren’t going to care about your efforts to change – especially when they ring as hollow as trying to erase everything away by changing your friggin’ name.

It appears as though you’re going to get your second, err, seventh chance to succeed in the NFL and, disappointingly enough, you are going to get to do it with the team you wanted to, the Dallas Cowboys. I don’t know that anyone is actively going to root against you and hope that you fail, but you’ve done nothing to engender anyone’s goodwill either. On ESPN a couple months ago you still looked like you were in denial and if I were in Vegas I’d be betting that you can’t do it.

You don’t want to be known as Pacman anymore? More power to you. But Adam, you’ll always be Assclown Jones to me.